Seasons

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The season of change is still here. Whether or not things are going to stay different is something only time knows. Secrets are burned or buried. Life is pointless, but there's nothing wrong with that. You can't destroy fairy dust. And dead fairies live only as long as you believe in them. I'm not me, but no one really is.

I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring or take away. And what I don't know about, I can't control. Ignorance may not be bliss, but it can come pretty close. Neglect works pretty well too... if you can kill off your conscience.

Even if I could fly, I wouldn't be able to get to the moon. And every single time I try, there's someone waiting to catch me. Tight ropes and burned bridges are fun to walk on. Because you know there are only two ways off. Either you reach the other side or you fall. It's all about balance. And you can't lose what you never had.

I used to think that you could only give what you have. But that isn't completely true. Sometimes you can give away borrowed things, even if you have no right to do so. You have to pay for everything, but that doesn't mean you can't get what you can't afford. You just collect debt. I'll deal with it later. Infinite debt plus a little more is still an infinite amount. And there's no point in worrying about things you can't change.

A fall from here won't be fatal.
And that is what worries me...

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Now playing: Red Hot Chili Peppers - She Looks To Me
via FoxyTunes

Untitled

I love September's skies.

"Things happen for a reason."

I don't want to know.

You know what I like best about music? It's such selfless company. It never wants anything from you. And I love the way some songs stick to the insides of your thoughts, constantly dripping melodies that tickle the back of your mind. Like ice-cold rain drops trickling down your spine. You know they're there, but only because you feel it. And maybe, it is just in your head?

I told her I'd be there at Sunset.

Too late, darling. Dawn is breaking everywhere.

Light?

You know... it smells like rain...

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Now playing: Grateful Dead - Touch of Grey
via FoxyTunes

Wasn't me

I was there when it all happened, but that was not me.

"So long ago, so far away,
Was everything truly there?”

- Todd Willingham

Everything was.
I wasn't.

Aeternum vale

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I don't understand why I feel like I'm going far away. Every day, so many things disappear into too-soon approaching horizons, and it feels like it's me who is receding into the icy waters. Except the colder it gets, the hotter I feel. There must be some way back. But which way is back?

If everything disappears, will I disappear too? If everything that makes up my very existence burns to smoldering ashes, will I burn too? If all that means anything comes to mean nothing, would anything mean anything ever again ?

Rule one: Stay in the abstract. Rule 2: Always remember. Rule 2, proviso: Remembering includes remembering to forget.

Why must everything always contradict everything else? Why is the "odd one out" the odd one out, when one is always odd anyway? Why does it all come down to numbers? Why must everything mean everything else? Why must everything mean nothing?

Why can't I find any answers? I don't know where to look. And everywhere is a very large place. I think I'm running out of time. I wish I knew where it all went. It's been twenty years, and every day, all I know is a little more of nothing.

I've stopped thinking. These are thoughts that keep escaping because I don't want to keep them in my head anymore. I can't, because I have no room for them.

They keep telling me to think back. But back to what? And with everyday, there's so much more to choose from. And I wasn't always me. I am not always me. But we get by with a little help from our friends. And a friend of the devil is a friend of mine.

I scare myself.

Where is my mind?

.

I find myself thinking of winter, as I once did all through the year. Winter is my favorite season. Even the things that go wrong don't bother you as much as they do in the summer. I'm sure it has something to do with the sun. I suppose, in winter, the cold helps.

Monsoons are for pleasant melancholy mornings spent listening to the sounds of the skies rumbling above the music, wondering why you aren't in class. This attendance issue is really beginning to bother me. I don't understand why it's so hard just to get to class. It's just that I'm so weary...

I think it's a dark night. Not that I'd dare venture on to the terrace. I wouldn't come back for too long. And then I'd have trouble getting to class tomorrow too.

I should get some research done for my history consultation. I think today was the last day. And I also have to get a medical certificate.

I spoke to Emma a few nights ago. I remember the base with its safe walls. I remember the base with its iron bars. The golf course, counting stars. It was a fun time. And "My back pages" is playing now. ^_^ I love it when situation-fitting music plays. I was so much older then, I am younger than that now. I remember the frantic phone calls and sneaking out. The webs of million lies we all got ourselves entangled in; things that were so much bigger than any of us. Than all of us... It feels so strange to think back. I can still see Foreshore Road in my mind. That infinite stretch of blackness with dots of lights glowing along the water's edge. I remember every tree, every turn, every sign-post...

But dwelling on the past isn't something you can afford to do when the present is constantly turning into the past at a pace you can barely keep up with. And I've left those days so far behind. Survival is of primary importance. There isn't any place in this world for the things we dreamed of. And the things we thought we were fighting for... well, they never existed in the first place. I won't lie, it had it's own charm. The feeling that we were actually making some sort of difference. The problem is, in hindsight, I see the mistakes we made glow brighter than the things we did right. And it's a painful realization to have; that we are still living with the consequences of our actions as naive children who thought they'd seen the world. What does a night-owl know about the beauty of dawn? What does a bat know about the wrath of the sun? Mere glimpses. Next to nothing.

I think the last two years are catching up to me. It was bound to happen, and I'm just surprised it took so long. Miss Sunshine, in a moment of profundity, recently said "I don't know why, but this feels like the end." The world is ending, darling. For if something is changed to such a degree that it has next to nothing left of the original matter, it isn't called an amendment, it's an abrogation. And fundamental rights are all about the government and power. Politics.

Everything creeps up everywhere else and I'm getting lost in the million multicolored ribbons I'm using to connect it all. But at least I now know what near-total loss of control feels like. It's scary, but it is a rush.

Anyhow, I have wasted enough time. I really should try and read up some history. Goodnight folks. Hopefully, my next post won't be during class hours tomorrow.



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Now playing: Lounge Piranha - Gun Song
via FoxyTunes

Priorities

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If messed up priorities is really what comes before no priorities at all, I'm not really sure if it would be Nirvana. But honestly, I don't think I would like that.

I mean, I'd rather be confused or even wrong about what's important, rather than have nothing that's important at all.

At least, I think so...

Right?

I can't be sure about anything anymore.

A long chain of endless distractions and addictions.

And it spirals...

Apologize?

.

Where do I even begin?

These thoughts in my head are not supposed to be here.

But I can't get rid of them.

And I can't find what I'm looking for.

It's all white noise.

(And it hurts when it echoes)

I'm really sorry,... but I need to finish.

.

Since it's getting early

.
We missed out on entire worlds. There aren't even any tickets. It's like wanting to go somewhere with absolutely no way to get there. Not 'like', that's exactly what it is. That's pretty strange, you know? I mean, those kind of things aren't supposed to happen, right? But I guess all sorts of things happen here... wherever that is...

Anyhow, I'm quite exhausted, though I don't really know why. Maybe I just need a change of scene. I'm tired of watching the sun come in the window every morning, and tired of staring at the same four walls. It doesn't mean I love my room any lesser, but I just have to get out for a while. I can't believe I've been here for an entire week. Wow. That's a lot of time. That's 1/3rd of my holiday. But then again, time always passes slower when you're away.

I spent a lot of time on the terrace today. I remember why I like Gray so much. Gray skies are the nicest kind.

I also ruined my headphones. The wire got caught in the door. Don't ask. It was a highly spaz move. It's a pity 'cause these were really great headphones. They shall be deeply missed...

Moving on, I just feel like typing, so I shall ramble on for a while. I don't believe a pack of Milds now costs Rs. 94! That's just horrible! And wrong!!! This doesn't help anyone! We'll all have to switch to cheaper cigarettes and die! As of now, it's Navy Cuts, but you can't smoke them one after the other for too long. Sigh, such trauma.

I have to go to town tomorrow to meet part of 'The 8'. And 'lunch' is in Mangalore Paradise. Sounds like a full day again. It'll be kind of relieving after the annoying day I had today (though it did end well). Someone almost broke my door down in the afternoon. Bastards. I freaked out and decided to clean the room. Unfortunately that involved consumption, after which I ditched the bank plan and passed out instead. I really do want the fool dead...

Oh no, now I've gotten all worked up again. Tch. I'm sharing my room with a mouse and a frog. It's so bothersome cause I chase them out every morning and they're back by evening! I don't even know what to do anymore...

For now, I shall finish this bottle of water and then try falling asleep. Great. Now a stupid moth has joined the party. I can't even begin to be bothered. Sigh. Goodnight folks. And remember, Rock 'n Roll is here to stay!
^_^



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Now playing: Grateful Dead - Touch of Grey
via FoxyTunes

Sorry?

.
I am impossible to talk to. I care about nothing and no one. I always do as I please. You, your pleas and your tears, your anger, your authority and your fears. They mean nothing to me; and for all you have to say, your words may as well be static that I can barely hear above the music (that won't stop) playing in my head.

I am selfish and unfeeling. I am cold and made entirely of apathetic igneous stone. I will not cry for you, the world or God. And I will not cry for myself. Oh, I shall never be unkind and I will never make you cry. But I will not promise to be there to hold your hand as your world falls to pieces. And I will not be around to catch your falling tears.

...
It's only because my hands and head are already full. I have no safe place left to keep (the rest of) your sadness and your pain. If you're bitter and mad, and if it would make you feel better, go ahead, take it all out on me. It doesn't make an ounce of difference.

I'll do what I can to keep you safe - but only as long as you stay on that side of this dilapidated wall. Try and break through and I promise to hop back into the rabbit hole. And if I am supposed to apologize, I'm sorry.

I will only haunt the rarest of your thoughts. And though I will vanish as soon as you ask me to, I will leave you my shadow. I will be your one regret, but I shall not be found. Because I never want to be lost again.

Reasons

How can I feel if I can't breathe?

It's dark. And I know it's all inside my own head, but how does that make it any better? Questions, questions, questions. So many questions.

Once upon a time, curiosity killed the gray clay cat. Satisfaction brought her back. But she was never the same...

I don't like making little sense you know. But I'm not wasting words. They bleed. And I am left holding up all our shattered glass.
It's only a problem because it leaves me with no free hands with which I could try to stop all these words. And I can only watch as they escape my mind.
I would tie it all up with ribbons, but I lost them.
All of them.
Maybe it's better this way.
I don't think they were ever mine in the first place.

Why?
(Why not?)
Because I choose to.

Untitled

.

I know how it works, but I don't know why.

"Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all."

It wasn't supposed to be like this.
In an ideal world, in an ideal world.. That's all anyone has to say.
What you don't get is that ideal is subjective too.

The more I understand, the less I know.
"Not knowing everything is all that makes it okay, sometimes."
Sometimes.

We itch and we burn and no one cares.
Maybe that's all there is to it.

That and the sky caught in the trees.

We're lost in this forest.

And it won't stop burning.

How long will we wait for the rain?
.

Thinking

Not everything works. Few things work this well.
A powerful technique, but one that requires aid and nourishment.
Evil monster baby, feed on our nightmares.
So cute.

And after much thinking, debating and a few scares, I've made my decision. Something needs to happen if we are all to continue this existence of ours, and if no one else will do anything about it... well, I will make them. We all have our own roles to play...

And the same song starts up again.
I watch the walls crumble into dust. And I watch them grow again.
It's not right, they're not supposed to grow, but they do so in front of my very own eyes!
...
Perhaps I only imagine it.

It isn't so much about choosing sides as it is about figuring out which side you already belong on. War isn't about choice you know. Then again, that's all it is about. Fundamental building blocks should be like the primary colors. Uncomplicated.

Tick tock.
I can feel time slither around me before melting away
laughing quietly in the night as I watch it with half closed eyes
You can't poison my veins Mr. Snake
I'm immune

Decisions finalized. Now to put the plan into action. What a pain. And there's no straight way to do this. Oh well, we'll figure it out.

Ssshhh, you're not letting me think!!!

Theory - Over it!

Being over something, be it a song, book, movie, person or situation, does not really mean anything more than forgetting what being obsessed with that made you feel like. With songs, you usually hear them too often and get desensitized. With most other things, you simply forget.

Never Mind

They still tingle sometimes. It isn't often, but they do. I don't particularly mind the tingling, but sometimes, I notice, and then I remember. I don't always like remembering. And I never like constant reminders. It's okay though. Just another bunch of days to ignore until they go away. Like the people in the funnel pipe. We made it you know, just barely, but we did. And now no one else can. But everyone's floating away into the blue blue sky and we're just getting lost. Where does this go? I can wait, I suppose. It's not like there's anywhere particular I'm heading. We. I keep forgetting dear, please remind me every once in a while that you're still here? Oh, so polite indeed. Save the cats guys, I rather like the rain. But won't it ever stop? Too soon to worry about that. Too soon. The storm will come and we'll be stuck here, out in the cold, but it'll go away. I guess. I suppose. Too early to worry about that. Too soon. Is it time to check out? No dude, we just got here. So much further to go. And the sky turns purple.

"I like this view"
"Yeah"

Goodbye. But it isn't. I guess. I suppose. I mean, it is only one sky, right? How big can it be? And we're still only so far away. We could reach out, couldn't we? I think so, but what's out there anyway? Umm... the others? What others? Suddenly, everyone's gone. Engulfed by an inky infinite sky. And I stayed too long. There are always the birds. At least, I think they're out there. I can hear them sometimes, but it's too dark to see. When will the moon come out? Or perhaps I am on the moon. Perhaps we all are. After all, the moon has a dark side, doesn't it? That's a lie. Matter of fact, it's all dark. And no one knew what was on the other side. Blind leaps of faith(?), except we never came down. Fairy dust can make you fly. Way to go Peter.

Except you forgot... We never got to Neverland, and now it's too dark to see. You never taught me how to stop. Us. You never did. We didn't ask, but you weren't supposed to forget either. And we're still floating on the clouds. Maybe it's still too soon to worry about getting down. Maybe you'll remember.

Maybe I'll forget. I think I am forgetting. Maybe I do know, but just can't remember. If I tried so hard to forget, there must have been a reason, right? And this is so much easier, like floating on a cloud. And the storm will come and it'll go away. Maybe we'll miss it completely because we're here. Maybe we can watch it from above and marvel at the lightning flashes. What would it be like to see lightning from above? I guess the moon would know. Too bad she never tells. She must have her reasons I guess. Don't we all? No. That would be a little too simple to watch for an eternity. Perhaps it's just an anomaly. Perhaps we all are just anomalies and the dinosaurs were all there was supposed to fucking be to it. At least they'd just try and snap your head off (literally) instead of tripping you to death. Like on a plank. No one goes insane. Everyone is driven insane. I'd like to meet the driver.

There's not enough time, but there's just so much of it. It's too little time to do anything and too much time to do nothing. Like the ten minute breaks, you know? Perhaps that's all life is, a ten minute break. Imagine that. And we just wasted so much of it complaining how short it was, when we could have just managed a tea and a smoke. Except it's so hot. Why won't it rain? I thought it never stopped. Interrupt - interrupt - interr- Never mind.

A Foolish Alternate World OR The Stairway People

Imagine this:

In an alternate world, there are no stairs. There have never been any stairs. Many many years ago, while this world was still growing and changing, man-kind had just learned how to walk. There are no such things as natural stairs(and since this is true in our world and this alternate place is based on Earth, it makes sense). Humans only had slope-y hills and mountains. When they started building steps (not stairs mind you, just steps), some people got the hang of it pretty quickly, while others struggled. It became even worse when the stairways came into being. People would get stuck halfway and refuse to move in either direction, which would mean hours of screaming, cajoling, dirty laundry and, well, you get what I mean. It was awful. Society as a whole was affected. The neighbors, the friends and especially the poor disappointed ashamed parents.

Soon enough, stairs were banned. It started with one kingdom doing so on the grounds of "public safety" and "right to life". It sounded nice enough a reason, and the people who had stairs were too busy climbing higher and higher to read the news or fight for the right to use such an obvious and simple pleasure. Handy stairs.

Other kingdoms soon followed the same path. First, specific kinds of stairs were banned, which did make some sense because these were rickety and dangerous and a kingdom must protect its subjects. But then the rulers went loco. And believe it or not, there came a time in this world's history when almost all countries had banned all kinds of stairs. The pro-stairwayo people were confused. Why would their stairs be "a menace to society". The round tables even came up with reports from some royal sycophantic pretty physician who would make a grand speech that no one understood. The gist being: Don't climb stairs. They're bad.

"Bad for who?" asked the dizzily confused pro-stairwayos (they had just run down a flight of stairs. They would be fine in a while.)
"F you," said the royal sycophantic pretty physician, with disgust "and for society"
"How?" they asked, still confused, though a few of them started to look doubtful.
"Because they're bad for your knees."
"Why?" they persisted
"Because I'm a royal physician and I said so!" he declared royally.
"Ummm... how is it bad for society, sir?" asked a young boy. "I mean, they are our knees, are they not?"
"Foolish ungrateful wretch!" he roared, "Your parents worked so hard to raise you and you send you to physician school or into a trader society and you go throw it away for some heights???"

The boy felt something the stairway people didn't very often. Not back then. It was like a little pin had stabbed him somewhere inside. It made him gasp for air, and he remembered the stairs. So, it was decided. Stairs were banned. There were a few liberal kingdoms that allowed the practice. Both of building and climbing. But they had rules. Still, it was a much fairer society.

The people who loved those stairs and climbing them too much to care about some order by some guy they had never met and couldn't care less about laughed and continued. They were hunted, found, imprisoned, punished. Sometimes, they were even executed.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world continued using slopes to reach heights. It took longer and they were tired the next morning. Their heads hurt, but it was the only way. The new world order was aiming for a flat world, but realizing that many people still wanted to see higher ground once in a while, they allowed slopes. Once again, there were rules about the inclinations and angles. which is fine because by now, cars had been invented, and you didn't want one rolling all the way down crashing and burning into a hundred different cars.

So, slopes stayed. And the stairway people had no idea why they were discriminated against. They liked watching the new sun rise over a sleeping world. They liked looking at the snaky winding river miles below. They liked being closer to the clouds.

The slopes were okay for some heights, but higher ones become dangerous. The stair people were now divided too. There were the usual "complete freedom" supporters, the ones willing to reach a compromise and of course, there were the rickety bridge people. They were bad for the stairway people's image because these kids would leave home to go live entire lives on those bridges. They hardly ever came down. And it was usually only when they wanted wood to patch up the falling dying groaning bridge. Naturally people who had never used stairs were sceptical of all stairs.

The almost-natural stairway people were not trusted either. Even the people who agreed that they were much safer than slopes thought that once someone fell in love with the art of climbing, he would want to try different stairways. And this would eventually lead him to the rickety and narrow bridges, whre lives were wasted.

The normal stairway people protested - peacefully of course - and held concerts on elevated land that had more stairs leading to it than slopes and everyone was happy. But they were slowly pushed away by society's collective guilt and fear, till all stairway members had to live in secrecy.

Most of them had underground basements that had stairs, or had collected stepping stones to climb over gates in the school. College had the most of these hidden stairs. The teachers knew they existed, especially the ones who had studied there. But being responsible, calm, brain washed grown ups, they ignored it completely. If stairs were ever found, there was hell. Extreme consequences would follow. And once again the ashamed disappointed parents would send those little pin pokes inside.

So, almost all people either lied to the ones they loved completely or at least partially ("Yes mum, I do like looking at the clouds once in a while, but chill, I'm under control. I never go too high and I only use slopes"). A lesser number would just get tired of it all and go live in lands full of stairways. Where nothing was flat and there were a million new horizons to discover. But the pins went with them. Everywhere.


Now you tell me. The Stairway people, what did they do wrong? Why was it bad? Don't people have a right to their own bodies? I know no one was promised complete freedom, but if you don't own yourself, what do you own?
They're discriminated against, looked down upon, hated and despised. They're pitied... Which is worse, because they're the ones who've seen that sun rise and they could tell you so much if you just took the time to listen. If you just stopped wasting every day trying to flatten out the world. What would you do with flat land? You'd be able to see for miles and miles, but how would you take winding roads without being able to see where you will land up?

Where would you go?

The stairs will always exist. As long as man-kind does. Banning them just makes them a little more dangerous because people have to rely on shady dealers for wood and other material. Plus they can't trust the Watchers so if someone is ever sick, they'll think twice before trying to save his life. Because they could get caught, imprisoned, fined and maybe even executed. And no one wants that.

Imagine this world. Isn't it such a foolish one? Thank God we don't live in such a world. How could we? We have democracy.

House of the Rising Sun

See them!
Bearing gifts and flowers
And smiles so wide they should hurt
Dressed in fancy coats and dresses
that trail in inevitable dirt
"You look so very truly lovely dear"
"Why thank you, so do you!"
And then a turn, a glare, a sneer
"I've always hated that shade of blue"
The lights are grand, the palace large
and each is mesmerized
And as they dance their practiced dance,
Every moment frantically memorized
Look how cold their eyes are
as they judge you for your fall
and if that's what grace is supposed to be
You'd swear you were never there at all

Watch them!
Them, on the other side of town
Children of the blackest nights
They make their way through the dark
By walking on silver moonlight
It is no palace of light to which they trudge
but a hill under starry skies
And you see the roads they've left behind
along with remnants of once-binding ties
Their speech is odd, their words often cruel
Yet laughter rings true into the night
No hidden dagger behind any back
and no need of any illusions of light
There is never any dancing
but there's always music in the air
And if you can walk the moonlit path
You're always welcome there.

(Now I know there are middle paths
but honestly, I've hardly seen one
and if I had to choose between them
it would have to be the "house of the rising sun")


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Now playing: Animals - House of the Rising Sun
via FoxyTunes

Losing and Failing

I think I would rather lose than fail. Mainly because losing seems like such a relative thing. You lose against someone. You could be awesome, but lose just because someone is better than you. (And someone always is).

On the other hand, if you fail, well... it just means you weren't up to it. And that somehow your failure is a direct consequence of your decisions and actions alone...

I'm afraid I did not lose this time. I failed.

Oh, and the worst part about failure? You can't demand a rematch. You can just hope for another chance.

Rambling

I got lost today. And not just this-way-or-that-way kinda lost. I'm talking lost as in across two sectors and a couple of main roads lost. Sigh. I really need to work on my sense of direction. Ended up asking this random fruit seller where my sector was. He looked at me like I was crazy and told me I was walking in the wrong direction and had to go all the way back. It was pretty annoying. Especially because I could have comfortably smoked all my cigarettes. Instead, I ended up breaking another self-made rule. And an important one. Never bring a cigarette home. I'm just asking for trouble...

Other then the adventure of the day, life's been pretty tame for the last few days. I can't believe I'll be back in college in a week. Darn repeats. It would have been so sweet otherwise. And I haven't read a word. Stupid consti. grrr. However, considering the fact that I'll have enough time to bitch and moan about this when I get back, I think I shall just stop thinking about it for now. ^_^

There's this new comic I'm reading. It's called "Nothing Better". It's about a couple of dysfunctional room-mates at college. It's a nice read, but the problem is that at most points our lives seem more interesting. Haha. College spoils me. ;)

Also, I've been doing a lot of thinking. (AND a lot of facebooking, but well, that aside for now.) I just need to get the repeats out of the way this trimester. I'm bored. I need to do something, or I shall wither up and die... And I need a distraction... Oh well, thankfully, that's jus not ever a problem when you're in college.

Hmmm, Maybe it's time I made a few new playlists too. I mean seriously, what kind of black cloud was my brain wallowing in when I made this one??? They're all nice songs, but all I seem to do now is go into a blue funk whenever I start iTunes. I mean, Air Supply are great and everything, but still... I think I'll become a Third Eye Blind person for good. I like them. They talk about the saddest things really chirpily. It makes you laugh. If there's anything I like better than cold-sadness, it's comic tragedy!

Wow, this post has turned out to be just me rambling. Oh! We gave the dog a bath today. I should write a complete post on that sometime. It's an entire event by itself! We even have different people in charge of different parts of the ritual. *laughs*

Hmmm. I'm going to go see a movie tomorrow. With Flighty. Will also update him on my latest sins I suppose. I mean, that is all we seem to do. Discuss the recent messes we have gotten ourselves into and then point at each other, laugh and do the "Haha! Your's is worse!" routine. It makes for good confession times.

I saw Sweet November today. And I finally managed to see the end. I see what Miss Sunshine means. You know... when you understand why the character is doing whatever he/she is doing, but you still want to hit him/her on the head with the biggest rock you can find. And I figured out a new angle to my already-too-many-angles-to-be-anything-but-a-fucking-circle story. Does it help? I don't know anymore. And honestly, I'm almost beyond caring. Fuck it dude. I tried. That's all. I may not have tried hard enough or whatever, but I just don't give a rat's ass anymore. (Yes, okay, maybe I'm just mad right now. or maybe I'm not. Whatever.)

That's all for now I guess. I leave in 6 days. That's not all that much longer. And once I'm back... well, let's just say I have all the aspirin I need. ;)

Later!

Untitled

It's a Saturday. And for once, it's a Saturday with nothing much to do. This translates to a lot of mindless facebooking and youtubing along with a few hours of Southpark. On most days, I welcome the mindlessness. But today, I feel slightly... unsettled.

The problem being, I'm finally at peace (kind of anyhow) with the madness around, and precedent shows that this means something is going to happen. I know, I know, self-fulfilling prophecies and all that. But what can I say? That's the way it always has been. As soon as you start thinking "Dude. This isn't so bad. I can deal with this", the higher-powers-that-be grin and throw something that's sharp, gooey and sticky right at you.

It's a sort of corollary to the sequence of events following a "What else could go wrong?".