.
It's annoying how the closer a situation is to you, the harder it is to read clearly. Or maybe that's only the arrogance of the distant. Objectivity? That's just a word.
I missed first hour again. I think I could have made it, but I didn't leave. Also, sadly and gladly, I now have a new charger. I was supposed to go for my history consultation today, but considering I haven't read anything, I don't think that's happening.
Yuck, I'm just not in update mode right now.
I have half-an-hour before class and a bunch of things I could do. I should probably practice the chords I learned yesterday before I forget them.
Disjointed and pointless.
And that's Apt.
----------------
Now playing: Velvet Underground - sunday morning
via FoxyTunes
Showing posts with label annoyed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label annoyed. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Maybe
Damn it! I'm almost out of cigarettes! Now I'll *have* to leave the room. I hope the moron who woke me up burns in eternal hell. And the stupid frog is back as well. Maybe I should stop blogging, get rid of my phone and move. Maybe.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Fly...
.
Don't talk to me about love. It's nothing but a clever word. Lies, Guilt, Pain and obligation. These would define love better. Bitter tears and accusations. Cruel taunting and angry words. Leave me alone.The guilt is inescapable. Our children will never be free. I wish you would listen, I wish you would stop. I wish I could fly away.
And I don't even have a window in my room.
Ah, Peter...
.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Projects
They're just not happening.
I can't work anymore.
Can't think, can't type, can't choose, can't decide!!!
I just want this to be over with without having to begin.
I haven't been here before, though I have seen the pictures.
I don't want to stay!!!
But I can't leave...
I can't...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
*sigh*
I need a break.
I can't work anymore.
Can't think, can't type, can't choose, can't decide!!!
I just want this to be over with without having to begin.
I haven't been here before, though I have seen the pictures.
I don't want to stay!!!
But I can't leave...
I can't...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
*sigh*
I need a break.
Annoyed
Why do people always become so much more annoying around project submissions? So much more retarded. Stupid questions and pointless conversations. Heck, if you really have so much of nothing to do, do my project! And if you do have something to do, then go do it!!! Get the hell away from me and stay the fuck away.
tch.
tch.
Friday, May 8, 2009
The Other Side
So I missed all four hours today. Again. That means I have crossed 15 classes in Pol Sci. Sigh. I hate this medical certificate drama thing, but I should do something soon because missing at least one more hour is inevitable. gah! So irritating.
On the bright side, I just found out that there's a general extension till Monday. This is super awesome news because I haven't started projects. I still have to go for my first juris consultation and the book I need for Crim is with one of the teachers. A weekend is more than enough though. I love when something sorts itself out!
Yeah, life isn't all about highness and/or dark clouds, though this blog could seriously make one believe that.
On the bright side, I just found out that there's a general extension till Monday. This is super awesome news because I haven't started projects. I still have to go for my first juris consultation and the book I need for Crim is with one of the teachers. A weekend is more than enough though. I love when something sorts itself out!
Yeah, life isn't all about highness and/or dark clouds, though this blog could seriously make one believe that.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Warning! Rant!
.
..
...
..
.
..
...
Being an insomniac is the most frustrating thing in the world! You're tired and so very desperately need to fall asleep, but no matter what you try, you just can't. You know that the next day will be horrible if you don't get some sleep, but there's nothing you can do. You tire of the internet, tire of reading, of writing. And you get so very tired of thinking. Something's gotta change. It can't go on like this. I can't go on like this!!! I need sleeping pills. Hell, I'd shoot meth if someone promised I would get to sleep!
.....
.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Procrastination
I stayed up all night. Again. And how long did it take me to finish what I was trying to do? 25 measly minutes.
Also, the attendance situation demands I attend all of today's classes. Which means that I can't start the other paper before 1500 hours. Which further implies that I shall not finish by 1700 hours. Hence, I shall submit it late and ruin a beautiful holiday.
Procrastination shall be the death of me.
Also, the attendance situation demands I attend all of today's classes. Which means that I can't start the other paper before 1500 hours. Which further implies that I shall not finish by 1700 hours. Hence, I shall submit it late and ruin a beautiful holiday.
Procrastination shall be the death of me.
Friday, April 3, 2009
A Foolish Alternate World OR The Stairway People
Imagine this:
In an alternate world, there are no stairs. There have never been any stairs. Many many years ago, while this world was still growing and changing, man-kind had just learned how to walk. There are no such things as natural stairs(and since this is true in our world and this alternate place is based on Earth, it makes sense). Humans only had slope-y hills and mountains. When they started building steps (not stairs mind you, just steps), some people got the hang of it pretty quickly, while others struggled. It became even worse when the stairways came into being. People would get stuck halfway and refuse to move in either direction, which would mean hours of screaming, cajoling, dirty laundry and, well, you get what I mean. It was awful. Society as a whole was affected. The neighbors, the friends and especially the poor disappointed ashamed parents.
Soon enough, stairs were banned. It started with one kingdom doing so on the grounds of "public safety" and "right to life". It sounded nice enough a reason, and the people who had stairs were too busy climbing higher and higher to read the news or fight for the right to use such an obvious and simple pleasure. Handy stairs.
Other kingdoms soon followed the same path. First, specific kinds of stairs were banned, which did make some sense because these were rickety and dangerous and a kingdom must protect its subjects. But then the rulers went loco. And believe it or not, there came a time in this world's history when almost all countries had banned all kinds of stairs. The pro-stairwayo people were confused. Why would their stairs be "a menace to society". The round tables even came up with reports from some royal sycophantic pretty physician who would make a grand speech that no one understood. The gist being: Don't climb stairs. They're bad.
"Bad for who?" asked the dizzily confused pro-stairwayos (they had just run down a flight of stairs. They would be fine in a while.)
"F you," said the royal sycophantic pretty physician, with disgust "and for society"
"How?" they asked, still confused, though a few of them started to look doubtful.
"Because they're bad for your knees."
"Why?" they persisted
"Because I'm a royal physician and I said so!" he declared royally.
"Ummm... how is it bad for society, sir?" asked a young boy. "I mean, they are our knees, are they not?"
"Foolish ungrateful wretch!" he roared, "Your parents worked so hard to raise you and you send you to physician school or into a trader society and you go throw it away for some heights???"
The boy felt something the stairway people didn't very often. Not back then. It was like a little pin had stabbed him somewhere inside. It made him gasp for air, and he remembered the stairs. So, it was decided. Stairs were banned. There were a few liberal kingdoms that allowed the practice. Both of building and climbing. But they had rules. Still, it was a much fairer society.
The people who loved those stairs and climbing them too much to care about some order by some guy they had never met and couldn't care less about laughed and continued. They were hunted, found, imprisoned, punished. Sometimes, they were even executed.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world continued using slopes to reach heights. It took longer and they were tired the next morning. Their heads hurt, but it was the only way. The new world order was aiming for a flat world, but realizing that many people still wanted to see higher ground once in a while, they allowed slopes. Once again, there were rules about the inclinations and angles. which is fine because by now, cars had been invented, and you didn't want one rolling all the way down crashing and burning into a hundred different cars.
So, slopes stayed. And the stairway people had no idea why they were discriminated against. They liked watching the new sun rise over a sleeping world. They liked looking at the snaky winding river miles below. They liked being closer to the clouds.
The slopes were okay for some heights, but higher ones become dangerous. The stair people were now divided too. There were the usual "complete freedom" supporters, the ones willing to reach a compromise and of course, there were the rickety bridge people. They were bad for the stairway people's image because these kids would leave home to go live entire lives on those bridges. They hardly ever came down. And it was usually only when they wanted wood to patch up the falling dying groaning bridge. Naturally people who had never used stairs were sceptical of all stairs.
The almost-natural stairway people were not trusted either. Even the people who agreed that they were much safer than slopes thought that once someone fell in love with the art of climbing, he would want to try different stairways. And this would eventually lead him to the rickety and narrow bridges, whre lives were wasted.
The normal stairway people protested - peacefully of course - and held concerts on elevated land that had more stairs leading to it than slopes and everyone was happy. But they were slowly pushed away by society's collective guilt and fear, till all stairway members had to live in secrecy.
Most of them had underground basements that had stairs, or had collected stepping stones to climb over gates in the school. College had the most of these hidden stairs. The teachers knew they existed, especially the ones who had studied there. But being responsible, calm, brain washed grown ups, they ignored it completely. If stairs were ever found, there was hell. Extreme consequences would follow. And once again the ashamed disappointed parents would send those little pin pokes inside.
So, almost all people either lied to the ones they loved completely or at least partially ("Yes mum, I do like looking at the clouds once in a while, but chill, I'm under control. I never go too high and I only use slopes"). A lesser number would just get tired of it all and go live in lands full of stairways. Where nothing was flat and there were a million new horizons to discover. But the pins went with them. Everywhere.
Now you tell me. The Stairway people, what did they do wrong? Why was it bad? Don't people have a right to their own bodies? I know no one was promised complete freedom, but if you don't own yourself, what do you own?
They're discriminated against, looked down upon, hated and despised. They're pitied... Which is worse, because they're the ones who've seen that sun rise and they could tell you so much if you just took the time to listen. If you just stopped wasting every day trying to flatten out the world. What would you do with flat land? You'd be able to see for miles and miles, but how would you take winding roads without being able to see where you will land up?
Where would you go?
The stairs will always exist. As long as man-kind does. Banning them just makes them a little more dangerous because people have to rely on shady dealers for wood and other material. Plus they can't trust the Watchers so if someone is ever sick, they'll think twice before trying to save his life. Because they could get caught, imprisoned, fined and maybe even executed. And no one wants that.
Imagine this world. Isn't it such a foolish one? Thank God we don't live in such a world. How could we? We have democracy.
In an alternate world, there are no stairs. There have never been any stairs. Many many years ago, while this world was still growing and changing, man-kind had just learned how to walk. There are no such things as natural stairs(and since this is true in our world and this alternate place is based on Earth, it makes sense). Humans only had slope-y hills and mountains. When they started building steps (not stairs mind you, just steps), some people got the hang of it pretty quickly, while others struggled. It became even worse when the stairways came into being. People would get stuck halfway and refuse to move in either direction, which would mean hours of screaming, cajoling, dirty laundry and, well, you get what I mean. It was awful. Society as a whole was affected. The neighbors, the friends and especially the poor disappointed ashamed parents.
Soon enough, stairs were banned. It started with one kingdom doing so on the grounds of "public safety" and "right to life". It sounded nice enough a reason, and the people who had stairs were too busy climbing higher and higher to read the news or fight for the right to use such an obvious and simple pleasure. Handy stairs.
Other kingdoms soon followed the same path. First, specific kinds of stairs were banned, which did make some sense because these were rickety and dangerous and a kingdom must protect its subjects. But then the rulers went loco. And believe it or not, there came a time in this world's history when almost all countries had banned all kinds of stairs. The pro-stairwayo people were confused. Why would their stairs be "a menace to society". The round tables even came up with reports from some royal sycophantic pretty physician who would make a grand speech that no one understood. The gist being: Don't climb stairs. They're bad.
"Bad for who?" asked the dizzily confused pro-stairwayos (they had just run down a flight of stairs. They would be fine in a while.)
"F you," said the royal sycophantic pretty physician, with disgust "and for society"
"How?" they asked, still confused, though a few of them started to look doubtful.
"Because they're bad for your knees."
"Why?" they persisted
"Because I'm a royal physician and I said so!" he declared royally.
"Ummm... how is it bad for society, sir?" asked a young boy. "I mean, they are our knees, are they not?"
"Foolish ungrateful wretch!" he roared, "Your parents worked so hard to raise you and you send you to physician school or into a trader society and you go throw it away for some heights???"
The boy felt something the stairway people didn't very often. Not back then. It was like a little pin had stabbed him somewhere inside. It made him gasp for air, and he remembered the stairs. So, it was decided. Stairs were banned. There were a few liberal kingdoms that allowed the practice. Both of building and climbing. But they had rules. Still, it was a much fairer society.
The people who loved those stairs and climbing them too much to care about some order by some guy they had never met and couldn't care less about laughed and continued. They were hunted, found, imprisoned, punished. Sometimes, they were even executed.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world continued using slopes to reach heights. It took longer and they were tired the next morning. Their heads hurt, but it was the only way. The new world order was aiming for a flat world, but realizing that many people still wanted to see higher ground once in a while, they allowed slopes. Once again, there were rules about the inclinations and angles. which is fine because by now, cars had been invented, and you didn't want one rolling all the way down crashing and burning into a hundred different cars.
So, slopes stayed. And the stairway people had no idea why they were discriminated against. They liked watching the new sun rise over a sleeping world. They liked looking at the snaky winding river miles below. They liked being closer to the clouds.
The slopes were okay for some heights, but higher ones become dangerous. The stair people were now divided too. There were the usual "complete freedom" supporters, the ones willing to reach a compromise and of course, there were the rickety bridge people. They were bad for the stairway people's image because these kids would leave home to go live entire lives on those bridges. They hardly ever came down. And it was usually only when they wanted wood to patch up the falling dying groaning bridge. Naturally people who had never used stairs were sceptical of all stairs.
The almost-natural stairway people were not trusted either. Even the people who agreed that they were much safer than slopes thought that once someone fell in love with the art of climbing, he would want to try different stairways. And this would eventually lead him to the rickety and narrow bridges, whre lives were wasted.
The normal stairway people protested - peacefully of course - and held concerts on elevated land that had more stairs leading to it than slopes and everyone was happy. But they were slowly pushed away by society's collective guilt and fear, till all stairway members had to live in secrecy.
Most of them had underground basements that had stairs, or had collected stepping stones to climb over gates in the school. College had the most of these hidden stairs. The teachers knew they existed, especially the ones who had studied there. But being responsible, calm, brain washed grown ups, they ignored it completely. If stairs were ever found, there was hell. Extreme consequences would follow. And once again the ashamed disappointed parents would send those little pin pokes inside.
So, almost all people either lied to the ones they loved completely or at least partially ("Yes mum, I do like looking at the clouds once in a while, but chill, I'm under control. I never go too high and I only use slopes"). A lesser number would just get tired of it all and go live in lands full of stairways. Where nothing was flat and there were a million new horizons to discover. But the pins went with them. Everywhere.
Now you tell me. The Stairway people, what did they do wrong? Why was it bad? Don't people have a right to their own bodies? I know no one was promised complete freedom, but if you don't own yourself, what do you own?
They're discriminated against, looked down upon, hated and despised. They're pitied... Which is worse, because they're the ones who've seen that sun rise and they could tell you so much if you just took the time to listen. If you just stopped wasting every day trying to flatten out the world. What would you do with flat land? You'd be able to see for miles and miles, but how would you take winding roads without being able to see where you will land up?
Where would you go?
The stairs will always exist. As long as man-kind does. Banning them just makes them a little more dangerous because people have to rely on shady dealers for wood and other material. Plus they can't trust the Watchers so if someone is ever sick, they'll think twice before trying to save his life. Because they could get caught, imprisoned, fined and maybe even executed. And no one wants that.
Imagine this world. Isn't it such a foolish one? Thank God we don't live in such a world. How could we? We have democracy.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Aaargh!
Well, despite waking up at noon today, I did carry out my "grand plan". Left home around 1400 hours. It isn't all that cold here, but being able to walk about at 2 in the afternoon in a sweatshirt feels pretty good. It's almost like you're listening to an inner voice singing happily "The day can only get colder! It can only get colder" over and over inside your head!
Anyhow, I went to the local mall and found out the cost of an iPod charger. I wonder what really happened to mine? I must have spazzed out and left it somewhere. Darn it.
I crossed the road and bought myself a cigarette from across the mall. Walked in a random direction for half the cigarette and back while smoking the remaining. It was really weird. Much worse than even Nagarbhavi can be. I'm reminded of this one line I read in some book that I really can't remember right now.
But wow, the kick I got just from a few of those drags! I can't remember the last cigarette that hit me that way! I dunno if it was because of the two day break or just the thrill of being 10 minutes away from home and smoking on the main road!!! Ha! It was brilliant!
Okay, I have to go. My brother "needs" to sleep. I need work to start soon. Chilling is great and all, but I think I'd almost rather be at college with project submissions in less than a week.
This is a HIGHLY annoyed me signing off.
Anyhow, I went to the local mall and found out the cost of an iPod charger. I wonder what really happened to mine? I must have spazzed out and left it somewhere. Darn it.
I crossed the road and bought myself a cigarette from across the mall. Walked in a random direction for half the cigarette and back while smoking the remaining. It was really weird. Much worse than even Nagarbhavi can be. I'm reminded of this one line I read in some book that I really can't remember right now.
But wow, the kick I got just from a few of those drags! I can't remember the last cigarette that hit me that way! I dunno if it was because of the two day break or just the thrill of being 10 minutes away from home and smoking on the main road!!! Ha! It was brilliant!
Okay, I have to go. My brother "needs" to sleep. I need work to start soon. Chilling is great and all, but I think I'd almost rather be at college with project submissions in less than a week.
This is a HIGHLY annoyed me signing off.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sympathy unavailable
I'll cry with you if I have to
I'll try and make you laugh
I'll stand by you if you feel alone
I'll be your company
I'll sit with you when you want to cry
I'll try and convince you that your life is worth living
But if you want sympathy, go somewhere else.
Don't expect me to feel sorry for you
Don't expect me to try and snatch that rope away from your hands
Don't expect me to cry because you think you can't "be strong anymore"
Don't expect me to beg you to stop hurting yourself in the ways I do to myself just so you can make a trade
I hate you when you get like this
You want to kill yourself?
You want to hurt?
You want to torture your own mind?
Lie to yourself?
Cry yourself to sleep?
Cling on?
Fine.
Go ahead and fucking do it.
Don't tell me your grand plans.
You want to die?
Then don't give me the gun to keep.
I want NO part in this.
Just leave me alone.
I need no more nightmares.
You are weak and pathetic.
And you fall further in my eyes every single day
Even the best of us fall
Well, you know what I've realized?
I never liked the best amongst us much anyway.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)