SF 09

6 days, 3 exams and 20 hours of class to go.

...

^_^

La-la-la

I have to write a Civil Procedure Code paper in about 12 hours, followed by a carry over subject's paper in 16. Though I haven't yet registered for the latter, so perhaps I won't have to give it after all. Which may have been a good thing if I was certain that I would be allowed to write the former. I have missed 18 classes already.

I should be panicking, but it isn't getting through. Maybe that's a good thing.

I'm locked in tight, I'm outta range

I used to care, but things have changed.

-

I really do not think I will be able to get out of this one without some serious damage. I suppose it's too late to start worrying about that now. It's also too late to do much, but... well, let's struggle as we drown, shall we?

Just Another Wednesday

.
It's annoying how the closer a situation is to you, the harder it is to read clearly. Or maybe that's only the arrogance of the distant. Objectivity? That's just a word.

I missed first hour again. I think I could have made it, but I didn't leave. Also, sadly and gladly, I now have a new charger. I was supposed to go for my history consultation today, but considering I haven't read anything, I don't think that's happening.

Yuck, I'm just not in update mode right now.

I have half-an-hour before class and a bunch of things I could do. I should probably practice the chords I learned yesterday before I forget them.

Disjointed and pointless.
And that's Apt.



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Now playing: Velvet Underground - sunday morning
via FoxyTunes

The Dark Side

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A : Come over to the dark side, it's where you belong.

Z : Come over to the dark side, we have cookies.
What is this vague concept of belonging? I'd rather have the instant and relatively certain gratification to be obtained from the promised cookies.

A : The cookies wont last long.

Z : Neither will you.
It's not that I don't believe in a world where honor and courage are qualities every soul instinctively possesses. And where love is something more than an insipid word borrowed from millions of poets and artists who caught a mere glimpse of that realm. But this world is not that one. I believe in God too. I'm just not sure if the God I believe in exists.

A : The existence doesn't matter. Your belief does. This world is lost. Caught in a spiraling whirlpool that sucks out what we dream of as 'love'. But the remnants must still be found. And they can be. Look out through the window.

Z : You assume, vainly I may add, that love is what everyone is looking for. Don't be so quick in projecting your hopes and aspirations and reasons for your existence to an entire world, even though I must say, I fear you're justified in doing so.

A : It's an example. The most popular story of something valuable that was lost. So much more is gone, to our infinite grief. Or maybe not. How can we grieve something we never knew? But there are flashes of a world long ago, a few crumbled pieces.

Z : I'm tired of wandering aimlessly in crumbling ruins of forgotten parts, yet I cannot, cannot go. It doesn't mean I want to stay. It's just that I don't think I can leave. And it's too loud a world out there. This may not be sanctuary, but it really may be all there is. The stragglers? Or just shadows from that world we keep worshiping? I don't know. And sometimes I fear it's just another answer that I will never be able to find.

A : It's a world in your head, in the dark recesses of your mind left unplumbed. Maybe you don't have a reason to cross over, maybe not a reason compelling enough. But the shadows surround you and if you want to escape them, find the sanctuary within yourself. But the shadows beckon. And someday you will give in to their lure.

Z : These shadows you speak so fondly of? I've lived with them so long, I'm not sure which earth flies below my own feet anymore. Perhaps its doesn't matter. Perhaps someday I'll have to worry about having a place to belong. For now, I want to watch the moon through broken shards of stained glass windows that stubbornly cling to dilapidated walls. It's beautiful. And for tonight, it's reason enough to stay...



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Now playing: Bob Dylan - It's Alright Ma (Bleeding)
via FoxyTunes

It's alright

.

I think I could live with this schedule. If I get to sleep for 8 hours every third or fourth day, it isn't all that hard. The classes on the last two days are nearly impossible, but well, nearly. And once admin classes start, I'll probably get some sleep there too. It's a temporary solution, but at least it is a solution. Anyhow, it's a little after dawn and I guess it's alright...

.



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Now playing: Bob Dylan - The Man In Me
via FoxyTunes