Saturday, June 6, 2009

Hungry

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It isn't like what they say is news. You've heard it all before. You know what they mean when they say they think you're fucking everything up completely. You know what they mean when they say it isn't anything novel you have to get used to. I'm done with the sympathy, I'm done with the apathy. Solitude used to be a once-in-a-while fun affair. It used to be a luxury. Now, it's just how I would rather live.

It isn't that I hate the people around me. On the contrary, I've realized that they're actually really nice genuinely concerned people. But I'm done with genuine concern. And nice was never a priority anyway.

It's been almost a year since I had the realization that my favorite kind of people were the selfish kind. Maybe it's 'cause they're such a welcome change from the artificial sweetening that seems to have been sprinkled all over the place. I like people who are mean to the point of being cruel, if only 'cause you never have to wonder about their motives or what they might actually want from you.

Anyhow, the trimester's almost over. To be honest, I've tried my hand at one of those end-of-the-term posts, but I can't do it. To explain this trimester in words would be like trying to explain a fast fading dream. It's not about how great or terrible these three months have been. It's about the surrealism. And now, it's getting too late to try and remember. I think this is the first trimester in Law school that I can look back at without cringing at memories of every second week... Actually... that isn't true... but the greatest part is that it feels like that. And in the end, I guess it is all about perception...

Anyhow, I have Fly on Monday. I don't know the syllabus. I don't know how to derive basic intestate succession shares. I don't know the difference between Muslim law and Hindu law. And I can't get myself to care. The only real problem with repeats is that you get used to them. Kinda like getting used to a dish you weren't ever really fond of. I guess one can eat anything when they're hungry enough...
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