Never Coming Down?

.

Thoughts.

War.
Bullet-proof glass that shatters on impact.
Smoke screens and hazy red lights.
Years.
Never.
Take.
Give.
Hot, searing knives.
Slide.
How long?
'Open my head just to see what I can find'.
Phases and Moods.
Everything.
Want.
Nothing.
Not in Denial.
Memories.
Can't reach.
Smirk.
Revenge.
Rush.

...

Black.
Dresses and Butterflies.

...
..
.
Fly?

.

Temporary Revenge

rage

Sometimes, I want to let her. I want her to lose it, lash out, destroy. I want her to grab that wheel and drive us all into the water, through the silly little fence-like wall, laughing as he screams at me to stop. I want to watch him beg. I won't stop. We'll only laugh. We'll laugh while his screams get louder and his pleas more frantic. We'll laugh when we hit the water. And laugh harder as we sink all the way to the murky bottom, water filling up slowly in his precious new car, filling up his lungs. I'll laugh as we watch him die.

And sometimes, I almost do.

But then... she'd have won.
So I don't move. I jus' sit and stare at nothing at all, in silence, because I know it kills her. I know it does... and that's enough for me. It's revenge enough... for now. It doesn't matter that in the process I'm hurting us as well. It's worth it... for now...

Sometimes, I still wish I had let her...