Blinded

"Blinded (When I See You)"

- Third Eye Blind

Just an old friend coming over now to visit you and
That's what I've become
I let myself in though I know I'm not supposed to but
I never know when I'm done

And I see you fogging up the mirror
Vapor around your body glistens in the shower
And I want to stay right here and go down on you for an hour
Or stay, and let the day just fade away
In wild dedication, take the moment of hope
And let it run, and never look back at all the damage we have done now
To each other
But when I see you, it's like I'm staring down the sun
And I'm blinded
There's nothing left to do
Still I see you

I never believed that things, they happen for a reason and
They never go as planned
I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost that you returned but
You're passed do you understand

Now her appetite is blown, little else is known
Except she's a little angry, grabs a towel and looks away
And heat fades with the day
And I fall down on what to say,
Oh something clean, let me be clever
Hey, oh well whatever
But that's not what I mean
When where we've been has left us burned
Still I won't turn now from a fight you know I'll never win

So when I see you, you know all the things I've done
Well I'm blinded
Like I'm staring down the sun
When I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun

Time, it passes and it tells us what we're left with
We become the things we do
Me, I'm a fool, spent from defiance, yeah you got me but
I didn't give up on you

Icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and it's not easy being me
But I can't promise I will mend or bend
When you believe that we are fixed now from our birth
And I've just fallen back to earth
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden we're stolen manners
In the days when we were one

[Chorus]
So when I see you, despite all that we've become
I'm still blinded
But I'm still staring down the sun
When I see you
I'm blinded

An old friend?
Lets refrain from throwing words around, shall we?
When has "Not supposed to" ever stopped you before???
You come and go as you please, don't you?
Who am I to tell you this isn't the right time?
Who am I to ask you to stay?

The days fade whether you're here or not.
And I'm used to the silence now, so please, make yourself comfortable.
Don't worry about the damage.
I owe you as much as you owe me.
So lets just stop counting wounds and have another drink.
Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?
And isn't that what we're supposed to be?
Friends?
Would you like some soda with that punch?

Don't thank me.
Stick to the rules.
It's your game.
They're your rules.

Angry?
Anger takes feeling.
And I feel nothing for you.
Not anymore.

I have no energy for this fight.
But I'll still play along.
Let's just keep pretending.
Does that suit you?
I think it fits perfectly.

So, lets...
Lets pretend we're friends.
Lets pretend you actually give a damn.
And lets pretend I'm still waiting...

...
If we become the things we do...
well, you're dead.
And I?
I am a ghost.
And no, they're not the same.

Icarus flew too close to the sun.
He didn't fly away into space without a goodbye.
You don't have to promise.
I'll never ask you to.
Just don't ask me if it's because I don't believe in promises...
or because I don't believe in you...

You always came and went as you wished, didn't you?
Don't let me be the one to change that.

Lucky?
Golden?
Still pretending, are we?
Anything for you.
Isn't that how this game worked?
...

You made your choice.
You were the one who left.
You don't get to turn this around.
And you do not get to blame me.

Tell me what you want.
Say what you're here to say.

Stay as long as you want.
But... this time, when you leave
Please don't come back...

I can't keep waiting for things you're never going to say or do.
And I can't keep staring at the sun...

Cycles and Spirals

Step 1.
You decide you may as well give it another shot. You pick up the pieces and start rebuilding your castle of cards.

Step 2.
Things seem to be working out. You grin and pat yourself on the back for making a "good" decision. You sleep well. You've got the foundation ready. A few more cards and you can make the next story.

Step 3.
Things start to get muddled up again. You worry for a bit, but then walk on forward determined. No way are you giving up now!!! Another layer of cards is added.

Step 4.
You run around in circles as a wind starts to blow. You try and protect your card building with your arms loosely around the sleepy clueless structure.

Step 5.
A card falls. You turn and blink and hope and pray... and then watch as everything falls apart.

Step 6.
You sit on the floor in the dark room, cards fallen all around you. You feel dejected, lost and defeated. And you don't know what to do...

Step 7.
A slight wind blows. A card flutters in the wind and falls into your half-open hand. You sigh and pick it up.
An Ace of Spades.

Step 8.
You laugh.

Step 9.
You study the card

Step 10.
You cry

Step 11.
You laugh again

Step 12.
Repeat Steps 8 to 10 till comfortable in the circle. And till certain that it is a sign.

Step 13.
Go back to Step 1.



There's a difference between a cycle and a spiral.

A cycle is repetitive and monotonus.
A Spiral usually ends in a crash or a drowning.
But still...
A spiral ends.

And this?
This is a fucking circle.

Adieu

What's the point?

Of arguing, waiting, yelling, sighing, crying, fighting, trying, explaining, bleeding, dying, pretending...?

Whatever happens, happens.

Deceive or be deceived.
Shoot or be shot.
Lie or be lied to.
...
Leave or be left behind...

Give me a cigarette, a light and I'd be quite content walking in the rain.

Adieu.

Just One More

Just one more?

*laughs*

Somethings never change.

Too bad everything else has to.

Untitled

They can laugh at themselves
Maybe even cry
They can celebrate grandly
And sometimes they can fly

They can almost drown
and still make it out okay
They can lose it all
But grin all the way

Bungee jump, sing on stage
Play the guitar bit on that awesome track
Count to ten, control all the rage
But they know that they can never go back

And you envy them
and you curse and blame
while they laugh at you
and pretend it's still the same

But they can't go back
It's too far away
The bridges are burned
They have to stay

And once there were watches
Now there are only blue skies
If the tower has fallen
Doesn't matter how long you fly...

So, they laugh some more
and settle down for the ride
And when you begin to worry
they brush your concern aside

Coz though you would never ever guess
They know that they're here to stay
No, they can't ever go back
It's just so very far away

Reflections

She looked up and studied the expression on the dark haired girl's face. She saw anger, bitterness, contentment and a weird sense of pride. Oh, and of course there was the sadness. As always. But she was used to that. What she didn't expect to see was that strange look that kept hiding behind all the other masks.

Acceptance...
That's what she would have thought... if it was anyone else she had been studying with such diligence.
But of course, it was just her mind playing tricks on her.
Acceptance???
That was almost as rare to spot as tears, especially where this friend of hers was concerned.
Well, rarer in fact.

Much much rarer if you counted the imbalance that was sure to have hit by now.

And so, she shook her head, walked a couple of steps forward... and exhaled... making sure the other girl was lost behind a wall of fog.

Mirrors either lied completely or made you believe whatever you wanted to believe.

Only problem was, right now, both the options seemed to mean the same thing.
And she wasn't ready for it.
Not at all...

Bitter

What did I learn today?

I learned that I'm a lot more bitter than I thought... and though that may not be a pleasant thing to realize at all, it somehow still makes me feel...
a lot better?

I guess...

yeah...
It does...