.
Realized I couldn't leave without a customary holiday post. But I was going to. Which is strange. I guess things change.
No more food whenever I want
(except there is)
No more cold,
white
metal bars that leave lines
and lines
and hurt
No more endless sleeplessness
(except there is)
No more soft, warm comfort
(except there is)
No more sobriety
Hell, yeah!
----------------
Now playing: Lounge Piranha - Ebb
via FoxyTunes
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Friday, November 6, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Rules
.
Life is all about rules.
First, learning them. Then, bending them. And finally, breaking the ones that you can't work around.
"You're wrong only if you get caught."
I hear you, sir.
First, learning them. Then, bending them. And finally, breaking the ones that you can't work around.
"You're wrong only if you get caught."
I hear you, sir.
.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Good Morning World!
This is strange. For some strange reason, one of my parents is awake on a holiday morning at 5 am. I'm glad I took the supposedly unnecessary precaution of plunging the room into darkness at 0430. Heh. I feel clever.
Anyhow, there really is nothing to do. And I am so bored of being bored. I guess I shall try and get some sleep, though I doubt that plan will go well. I have to go to some bank tomorrow. I *hate* banks. I also hate hospitals. They mean nothing but endless waits and wasted days.
*sigh*
----------------
Now playing: Tool - Stinkfist
via FoxyTunes
Anyhow, there really is nothing to do. And I am so bored of being bored. I guess I shall try and get some sleep, though I doubt that plan will go well. I have to go to some bank tomorrow. I *hate* banks. I also hate hospitals. They mean nothing but endless waits and wasted days.
*sigh*
----------------
Now playing: Tool - Stinkfist
via FoxyTunes
Friday, June 19, 2009
Bournville
.
I didn't come along because the both of you don't get time to talk. Did you talk?
What did I do?
Thank you.
I hate chocolate...
Bournville: "You don’t just buy a Bournville, you earn it.”
I didn't come along because the both of you don't get time to talk. Did you talk?
I don't care what you do, but don't look at me with those murderous eyes.
What did I do?
What did I do now?
You will feel cold.
Thank you.
Bournville: "You don’t just buy a Bournville, you earn it.”
It's been a week.
And I did finish RE 4.
I hate chocolate...
Monday, June 8, 2009
Fly...
.
After a paper I may pass though I definitely deserve to fail, and one that I may fail even though I objectively should pass, Fly was a relief. I attempted only 30 marks (I need about 27 to pass) and took my own sweet time doing the horribly long problem questions. I really hope she doesn't read the theory bit of my paper... Then again, it may just work for me. Because it will convince her that I'm retarded to the nth degree and then every sensible word in the repeat will be such a pleasant surprise! ...Or she may just not read my repeat paper 'coz my end term paper gave her such a terrible headache. :| Either way, I have to spend less than a month in Del. I'm relieved.
I leave on the 10th. Sometime in the evening. That means I have one night and half a day to pack, pay my bills and party. I'm in half a mind to spend tomorrow in the hostel. Going out seems like just too much work.
Oh, the best part of today's exam has to be half-way into the paper, when I first realized that I never photo-copied the last week of class. And that's bad because she did half of the syllabus in that week. :|
Anyhow, I think I shall go marvel at the pretty sky for a while. I absolutely love this weather. Sigh. I'm gonna miss Bangalore...
After a paper I may pass though I definitely deserve to fail, and one that I may fail even though I objectively should pass, Fly was a relief. I attempted only 30 marks (I need about 27 to pass) and took my own sweet time doing the horribly long problem questions. I really hope she doesn't read the theory bit of my paper... Then again, it may just work for me. Because it will convince her that I'm retarded to the nth degree and then every sensible word in the repeat will be such a pleasant surprise! ...Or she may just not read my repeat paper 'coz my end term paper gave her such a terrible headache. :| Either way, I have to spend less than a month in Del. I'm relieved.
I leave on the 10th. Sometime in the evening. That means I have one night and half a day to pack, pay my bills and party. I'm in half a mind to spend tomorrow in the hostel. Going out seems like just too much work.
Oh, the best part of today's exam has to be half-way into the paper, when I first realized that I never photo-copied the last week of class. And that's bad because she did half of the syllabus in that week. :|
Anyhow, I think I shall go marvel at the pretty sky for a while. I absolutely love this weather. Sigh. I'm gonna miss Bangalore...
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Rambling
I got lost today. And not just this-way-or-that-way kinda lost. I'm talking lost as in across two sectors and a couple of main roads lost. Sigh. I really need to work on my sense of direction. Ended up asking this random fruit seller where my sector was. He looked at me like I was crazy and told me I was walking in the wrong direction and had to go all the way back. It was pretty annoying. Especially because I could have comfortably smoked all my cigarettes. Instead, I ended up breaking another self-made rule. And an important one. Never bring a cigarette home. I'm just asking for trouble...
Other then the adventure of the day, life's been pretty tame for the last few days. I can't believe I'll be back in college in a week. Darn repeats. It would have been so sweet otherwise. And I haven't read a word. Stupid consti. grrr. However, considering the fact that I'll have enough time to bitch and moan about this when I get back, I think I shall just stop thinking about it for now. ^_^
There's this new comic I'm reading. It's called "Nothing Better". It's about a couple of dysfunctional room-mates at college. It's a nice read, but the problem is that at most points our lives seem more interesting. Haha. College spoils me. ;)
Also, I've been doing a lot of thinking. (AND a lot of facebooking, but well, that aside for now.) I just need to get the repeats out of the way this trimester. I'm bored. I need to do something, or I shall wither up and die... And I need a distraction... Oh well, thankfully, that's jus not ever a problem when you're in college.
Hmmm, Maybe it's time I made a few new playlists too. I mean seriously, what kind of black cloud was my brain wallowing in when I made this one??? They're all nice songs, but all I seem to do now is go into a blue funk whenever I start iTunes. I mean, Air Supply are great and everything, but still... I think I'll become a Third Eye Blind person for good. I like them. They talk about the saddest things really chirpily. It makes you laugh. If there's anything I like better than cold-sadness, it's comic tragedy!
Wow, this post has turned out to be just me rambling. Oh! We gave the dog a bath today. I should write a complete post on that sometime. It's an entire event by itself! We even have different people in charge of different parts of the ritual. *laughs*
Hmmm. I'm going to go see a movie tomorrow. With Flighty. Will also update him on my latest sins I suppose. I mean, that is all we seem to do. Discuss the recent messes we have gotten ourselves into and then point at each other, laugh and do the "Haha! Your's is worse!" routine. It makes for good confession times.
I saw Sweet November today. And I finally managed to see the end. I see what Miss Sunshine means. You know... when you understand why the character is doing whatever he/she is doing, but you still want to hit him/her on the head with the biggest rock you can find. And I figured out a new angle to my already-too-many-angles-to-be-anything-but-a-fucking-circle story. Does it help? I don't know anymore. And honestly, I'm almost beyond caring. Fuck it dude. I tried. That's all. I may not have tried hard enough or whatever, but I just don't give a rat's ass anymore. (Yes, okay, maybe I'm just mad right now. or maybe I'm not. Whatever.)
That's all for now I guess. I leave in 6 days. That's not all that much longer. And once I'm back... well, let's just say I have all the aspirin I need. ;)
Later!
Other then the adventure of the day, life's been pretty tame for the last few days. I can't believe I'll be back in college in a week. Darn repeats. It would have been so sweet otherwise. And I haven't read a word. Stupid consti. grrr. However, considering the fact that I'll have enough time to bitch and moan about this when I get back, I think I shall just stop thinking about it for now. ^_^
There's this new comic I'm reading. It's called "Nothing Better". It's about a couple of dysfunctional room-mates at college. It's a nice read, but the problem is that at most points our lives seem more interesting. Haha. College spoils me. ;)
Also, I've been doing a lot of thinking. (AND a lot of facebooking, but well, that aside for now.) I just need to get the repeats out of the way this trimester. I'm bored. I need to do something, or I shall wither up and die... And I need a distraction... Oh well, thankfully, that's jus not ever a problem when you're in college.
Hmmm, Maybe it's time I made a few new playlists too. I mean seriously, what kind of black cloud was my brain wallowing in when I made this one??? They're all nice songs, but all I seem to do now is go into a blue funk whenever I start iTunes. I mean, Air Supply are great and everything, but still... I think I'll become a Third Eye Blind person for good. I like them. They talk about the saddest things really chirpily. It makes you laugh. If there's anything I like better than cold-sadness, it's comic tragedy!
Wow, this post has turned out to be just me rambling. Oh! We gave the dog a bath today. I should write a complete post on that sometime. It's an entire event by itself! We even have different people in charge of different parts of the ritual. *laughs*
Hmmm. I'm going to go see a movie tomorrow. With Flighty. Will also update him on my latest sins I suppose. I mean, that is all we seem to do. Discuss the recent messes we have gotten ourselves into and then point at each other, laugh and do the "Haha! Your's is worse!" routine. It makes for good confession times.
I saw Sweet November today. And I finally managed to see the end. I see what Miss Sunshine means. You know... when you understand why the character is doing whatever he/she is doing, but you still want to hit him/her on the head with the biggest rock you can find. And I figured out a new angle to my already-too-many-angles-to-be-anything-but-a-fucking-circle story. Does it help? I don't know anymore. And honestly, I'm almost beyond caring. Fuck it dude. I tried. That's all. I may not have tried hard enough or whatever, but I just don't give a rat's ass anymore. (Yes, okay, maybe I'm just mad right now. or maybe I'm not. Whatever.)
That's all for now I guess. I leave in 6 days. That's not all that much longer. And once I'm back... well, let's just say I have all the aspirin I need. ;)
Later!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Untitled
Listless
She leans forward
And looks up at them
Black hole eyes that almost stop the noise
Almost
She leans back
and I flinch as she yawns
Sure enough,
the hand shoots out
and I close my eyes
She rubs the side of her face
almost puzzled
And then looks up at them again
as they wait with bated breath
Blinks
Stands
and turns to go
Mother begins to cry
and he commands she stop
She turns around again
And waits
Lifelessly bored
Calmly still
Insolently unashamed
And I think I begin to cry
Black eyes meet brown
and I pause
A command, an order
and a smothered plea
I bow my head
and dry my eyes
And stand as straight as her
Another blow
and the world begins to spin
Mother cries again
and father looks on in pain
But she sees no one but me
and I stand straight, like a reflection
Except I can't find the pride
of one that has stolen the crown
from under the king's nose
and laughs all the way down...
She leans forward
And looks up at them
Black hole eyes that almost stop the noise
Almost
She leans back
and I flinch as she yawns
Sure enough,
the hand shoots out
and I close my eyes
She rubs the side of her face
almost puzzled
And then looks up at them again
as they wait with bated breath
Blinks
Stands
and turns to go
Mother begins to cry
and he commands she stop
She turns around again
And waits
Lifelessly bored
Calmly still
Insolently unashamed
And I think I begin to cry
Black eyes meet brown
and I pause
A command, an order
and a smothered plea
I bow my head
and dry my eyes
And stand as straight as her
Another blow
and the world begins to spin
Mother cries again
and father looks on in pain
But she sees no one but me
and I stand straight, like a reflection
Except I can't find the pride
of one that has stolen the crown
from under the king's nose
and laughs all the way down...
Friday, February 20, 2009
Everything and Nothing
I am everything. And I am nothing.
You hate it when I say it like that.
"The second part shouldn't be there" you say.
"Why can't it be 'Everything and more?'"
Because...
you can't be everything if you are something
You can't be everything if you are anything
To be everything, you have to be nothing at all.
And so, I can say with a faint (and perhaps misplaced) sense of pride, I am nothing... and I am everything.
You hate it when I say it like that.
"The second part shouldn't be there" you say.
"Why can't it be 'Everything and more?'"
Because...
you can't be everything if you are something
You can't be everything if you are anything
To be everything, you have to be nothing at all.
And so, I can say with a faint (and perhaps misplaced) sense of pride, I am nothing... and I am everything.
Monday, February 9, 2009
A post
I was just floating by - aimlessly, as usual - when I realized that it's been quite a while since I have actually posted anything that makes sense. Well, tangible sense anyhow. That is, if sense can be tangible in the first place... But that's an entirely different debate.
I just finished some Vanilla ice cream. And by finished, I don't just mean finished eating, I mean finished the box. As in totaled it. Or however, the cool kids say it these days. (Darn it, I feel old.) My brother will kill me tomorrow, but for now, I'll just drink some more of this sickeningly sweet strawberry syrup.
But it is red. And suddenly, I feel a little sick. I think I'm done with red syrups for a while now.
The holidays have been... interesting. In a very boring mundane way. But unfortunately, they haven't been mundane enough to be comfortable. Because, lets face it, why else do people live in any kind of monotony? It's just comfort, security and safety (Yuck, I sound like an advertisement)... and the little annoying bumps in the road have made sure that I don't achieve that stability. So, I'm left feeling like a top that someone didn't crank all the way around. (Is that even how it's said?) I'm not strung enough to spin, nor am I standing still. I'm just wobbling around waiting to crash into one of those dining table legs.
Bam.
Internship is pretty sucky. Sucky because there's no real work, and the timings are a pain. By the time I get home, I want nothing but lots of water and silence - which of course is impossible. (The latter, not the former... on good days {This story shall someday have it's own post}) Hence I get cranky and irritable. The perfect seasoning.
Sigh.
A month is all that's left. Here is where I start my "But I don't really wanna go back." Well, you know what? Screw it. I DO want to go back. If for nothing else, then for the sake of smoking my cigarettes without constantly looking over my shoulder. And of course, the 24 hour internet. And the weather. And Pecos. And the terrace.
Not to say I don't like it here. I do. I love watching endless episodes of anime and pointlessly listening to music. But it costs. And I've realized I can spend those 'resources' better. Not to mention my internship has effectively killed my holiday.
*grumbles*
Stupid lawyers.
Grrr.
Anyhow, tomorrow is another working day. heh. I wonder whatever will happen if I fail to show up. Suddenly I have visions of myself cutting work and careening through the city with a laugh and a half. And then I see myself returning home, and my ship sinks.
Blug blug blug.
*grins*
I'm sure a ship could sink like that!
Damn it. All this logical typing has made me hungry. Well, not really, but I do need an excuse to eat those chips.
Should I?
Should I not?
Ah, the illusion of choice in a sea of fate.
Such is the cruel nature of this world.
Do thou not love me Princess?
Aaaaaaaaaah.
Focus.
Focus.
Logical sentences.
It isn't really my fault you know. It's just that I've realized it's so much more fun if you write as you think. Sometimes, you even discover things that you just never knew. Inside your own head!!! Though I am surprised that I am surprised. At the above fact that is, not the said discoveries.
Anyway, I am losing track and I already don't remember what I started this post with. it's time to go. Thin, crisp slices of packaged, deep fried potatoes await.
I just finished some Vanilla ice cream. And by finished, I don't just mean finished eating, I mean finished the box. As in totaled it. Or however, the cool kids say it these days. (Darn it, I feel old.) My brother will kill me tomorrow, but for now, I'll just drink some more of this sickeningly sweet strawberry syrup.
But it is red. And suddenly, I feel a little sick. I think I'm done with red syrups for a while now.
The holidays have been... interesting. In a very boring mundane way. But unfortunately, they haven't been mundane enough to be comfortable. Because, lets face it, why else do people live in any kind of monotony? It's just comfort, security and safety (Yuck, I sound like an advertisement)... and the little annoying bumps in the road have made sure that I don't achieve that stability. So, I'm left feeling like a top that someone didn't crank all the way around. (Is that even how it's said?) I'm not strung enough to spin, nor am I standing still. I'm just wobbling around waiting to crash into one of those dining table legs.
Bam.
Internship is pretty sucky. Sucky because there's no real work, and the timings are a pain. By the time I get home, I want nothing but lots of water and silence - which of course is impossible. (The latter, not the former... on good days {This story shall someday have it's own post}) Hence I get cranky and irritable. The perfect seasoning.
Sigh.
A month is all that's left. Here is where I start my "But I don't really wanna go back." Well, you know what? Screw it. I DO want to go back. If for nothing else, then for the sake of smoking my cigarettes without constantly looking over my shoulder. And of course, the 24 hour internet. And the weather. And Pecos. And the terrace.
Not to say I don't like it here. I do. I love watching endless episodes of anime and pointlessly listening to music. But it costs. And I've realized I can spend those 'resources' better. Not to mention my internship has effectively killed my holiday.
*grumbles*
Stupid lawyers.
Grrr.
Anyhow, tomorrow is another working day. heh. I wonder whatever will happen if I fail to show up. Suddenly I have visions of myself cutting work and careening through the city with a laugh and a half. And then I see myself returning home, and my ship sinks.
Blug blug blug.
*grins*
I'm sure a ship could sink like that!
Damn it. All this logical typing has made me hungry. Well, not really, but I do need an excuse to eat those chips.
Should I?
Should I not?
Ah, the illusion of choice in a sea of fate.
Such is the cruel nature of this world.
Do thou not love me Princess?
Aaaaaaaaaah.
Focus.
Focus.
Logical sentences.
It isn't really my fault you know. It's just that I've realized it's so much more fun if you write as you think. Sometimes, you even discover things that you just never knew. Inside your own head!!! Though I am surprised that I am surprised. At the above fact that is, not the said discoveries.
Anyway, I am losing track and I already don't remember what I started this post with. it's time to go. Thin, crisp slices of packaged, deep fried potatoes await.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Adieu
What's the point?
Of arguing, waiting, yelling, sighing, crying, fighting, trying, explaining, bleeding, dying, pretending...?
Whatever happens, happens.
Deceive or be deceived.
Shoot or be shot.
Lie or be lied to.
...
Leave or be left behind...
Give me a cigarette, a light and I'd be quite content walking in the rain.
Adieu.
Of arguing, waiting, yelling, sighing, crying, fighting, trying, explaining, bleeding, dying, pretending...?
Whatever happens, happens.
Deceive or be deceived.
Shoot or be shot.
Lie or be lied to.
...
Leave or be left behind...
Give me a cigarette, a light and I'd be quite content walking in the rain.
Adieu.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Untitled
They can laugh at themselves
Maybe even cry
They can celebrate grandly
And sometimes they can fly
They can almost drown
and still make it out okay
They can lose it all
But grin all the way
Bungee jump, sing on stage
Play the guitar bit on that awesome track
Count to ten, control all the rage
But they know that they can never go back
And you envy them
and you curse and blame
while they laugh at you
and pretend it's still the same
But they can't go back
It's too far away
The bridges are burned
They have to stay
And once there were watches
Now there are only blue skies
If the tower has fallen
Doesn't matter how long you fly...
So, they laugh some more
and settle down for the ride
And when you begin to worry
they brush your concern aside
Coz though you would never ever guess
They know that they're here to stay
No, they can't ever go back
It's just so very far away
Maybe even cry
They can celebrate grandly
And sometimes they can fly
They can almost drown
and still make it out okay
They can lose it all
But grin all the way
Bungee jump, sing on stage
Play the guitar bit on that awesome track
Count to ten, control all the rage
But they know that they can never go back
And you envy them
and you curse and blame
while they laugh at you
and pretend it's still the same
But they can't go back
It's too far away
The bridges are burned
They have to stay
And once there were watches
Now there are only blue skies
If the tower has fallen
Doesn't matter how long you fly...
So, they laugh some more
and settle down for the ride
And when you begin to worry
they brush your concern aside
Coz though you would never ever guess
They know that they're here to stay
No, they can't ever go back
It's just so very far away
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Resident Evil
I have spent all day playing Resident Evil 4. I LOVE it! It is so much fun!!! I think I've played it for over 7 hours today. Leon is really cute. He looks and talks like a typical Capcom character, but you know what? That's all cool. He's still cute. (Though Dante does still win hands down).
But this game is just so stress relieving! (And inducing, but that's a different matter). Every Zombie like stupid villager you shoot makes you feel so much calmer and better. And once you save the president's daughter, running around is not even that scary (yes, company on screen CAN make you feel better!).
Anyhow, I've been streaming the first movie. Am gonna go watch it now. ^_^. Though I've heard there's no Leon in the movies, the lead character is an 'amnesiac' chick called Alice. Hmmm, this should be interesting.
Later!
But this game is just so stress relieving! (And inducing, but that's a different matter). Every Zombie like stupid villager you shoot makes you feel so much calmer and better. And once you save the president's daughter, running around is not even that scary (yes, company on screen CAN make you feel better!).
Anyhow, I've been streaming the first movie. Am gonna go watch it now. ^_^. Though I've heard there's no Leon in the movies, the lead character is an 'amnesiac' chick called Alice. Hmmm, this should be interesting.
Later!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Aaargh!
Well, despite waking up at noon today, I did carry out my "grand plan". Left home around 1400 hours. It isn't all that cold here, but being able to walk about at 2 in the afternoon in a sweatshirt feels pretty good. It's almost like you're listening to an inner voice singing happily "The day can only get colder! It can only get colder" over and over inside your head!
Anyhow, I went to the local mall and found out the cost of an iPod charger. I wonder what really happened to mine? I must have spazzed out and left it somewhere. Darn it.
I crossed the road and bought myself a cigarette from across the mall. Walked in a random direction for half the cigarette and back while smoking the remaining. It was really weird. Much worse than even Nagarbhavi can be. I'm reminded of this one line I read in some book that I really can't remember right now.
But wow, the kick I got just from a few of those drags! I can't remember the last cigarette that hit me that way! I dunno if it was because of the two day break or just the thrill of being 10 minutes away from home and smoking on the main road!!! Ha! It was brilliant!
Okay, I have to go. My brother "needs" to sleep. I need work to start soon. Chilling is great and all, but I think I'd almost rather be at college with project submissions in less than a week.
This is a HIGHLY annoyed me signing off.
Anyhow, I went to the local mall and found out the cost of an iPod charger. I wonder what really happened to mine? I must have spazzed out and left it somewhere. Darn it.
I crossed the road and bought myself a cigarette from across the mall. Walked in a random direction for half the cigarette and back while smoking the remaining. It was really weird. Much worse than even Nagarbhavi can be. I'm reminded of this one line I read in some book that I really can't remember right now.
But wow, the kick I got just from a few of those drags! I can't remember the last cigarette that hit me that way! I dunno if it was because of the two day break or just the thrill of being 10 minutes away from home and smoking on the main road!!! Ha! It was brilliant!
Okay, I have to go. My brother "needs" to sleep. I need work to start soon. Chilling is great and all, but I think I'd almost rather be at college with project submissions in less than a week.
This is a HIGHLY annoyed me signing off.
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