Maybe

Are things really getting better or are we just getting better at accepting them?

Either way, don't think about it now, you'll only make it worse.

Things change.

Echoes fade and memories die. Autumn frosts have slain July.

Goodbye July...

Watching smoke makes me feel sane again.

Ash is definite evidence, but what good does it ever do?

What shall we use to complete the wall?

Memories.

Bury memories with memories.

Bad with good.

And good with bad.

You know what's the only thing worse than the calm before a storm?
The calm after it.

I like where I am and I hate the fact that time won't stop carrying me away.

We contradict ourselves and we burn and we die.

We're all unforgiven.

And maybe that's all there is to it.

Maybe.

----------------
Now playing: Shiro Sagisu - never meant to belong
via FoxyTunes

Touch of Gray

- Grateful Dead

.
Must be getting early,
Clocks are running late.
Paint by Number(?) morning sky
Looks so phony.

Dawn is breaking everywhere:
Light a candle, curse the glare,
Draw the curtains, I don't care, 'cause
It's all right.

I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive.

I see you've got your list out:
Say your piece and get out.
Guess I get the gist of it, but
It's all right.

Sorry that you feel that way.
The only thing there is to say:
Every silver lining's got a
Touch of grey.

I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive

It's a lesson to me:
The Ables and the Beggars and the Cease.
The ABC's we all must face
To try to keep a little grace.

It's a lesson to me:
The Deltas and the East and the Freeze.
The ABC's we all think of
To try to win a little love.

I know the rent is in arrears,
The dog has not been fed in years,
It's even worse than it appears, but
It's all right.

Cow is giving kerosene,
Kid can't read at seventeen,
The words he knows are all obscene, but
It's all right.

I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive.

The shoe is on the hand it fits,
There's really nothing much to it,
Whistle through your teeth and spit, 'cause
It's all right.

Oh well, a touch of grey
Kinda suits you anyway,
That was all I had to say, and
It's all right.

I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive.

We will get by, we will get by, we will get by, we will survive.
We will get by, we will get by, we will get by, we will survive.

Schizophrenia __ (Blue October)

A silver plated numbing gum
And Jesus resting on my thumb
A hard to reach malaria
I've got the mood that seems to scare ya.
I'm paranoid, self destroyed.
Believe me lord, I'm sorry
I've got the mood that seems to bury ya
I've got the nightmare called...
Schizophrenia

[Chorus]
I cry. I cry and I don't know why.
The fever becomes my home.
I cry. I cry and I don't know why.
The fever becomes my home.
Becomes my home.

I love it when you're holding me.
You have a gentle way of calming.
I haven't felt that way since 1993,
When my mother held me.
I bet you're waiting for a long sob story
Of how I was mistreated again.
But, no, I wasn't built that way.
I was strong and fucking desperately brave,
And I didn't mean to scare ya...
Schizophrenia.

[Chorus]
I cry. I cry and I don't know why.
The fever becomes my home.
I cry. I cry and I don't know why.
The fever becomes my home.
Becomes my home.

Blinded

"Blinded (When I See You)"

- Third Eye Blind

Just an old friend coming over now to visit you and
That's what I've become
I let myself in though I know I'm not supposed to but
I never know when I'm done

And I see you fogging up the mirror
Vapor around your body glistens in the shower
And I want to stay right here and go down on you for an hour
Or stay, and let the day just fade away
In wild dedication, take the moment of hope
And let it run, and never look back at all the damage we have done now
To each other
But when I see you, it's like I'm staring down the sun
And I'm blinded
There's nothing left to do
Still I see you

I never believed that things, they happen for a reason and
They never go as planned
I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost that you returned but
You're passed do you understand

Now her appetite is blown, little else is known
Except she's a little angry, grabs a towel and looks away
And heat fades with the day
And I fall down on what to say,
Oh something clean, let me be clever
Hey, oh well whatever
But that's not what I mean
When where we've been has left us burned
Still I won't turn now from a fight you know I'll never win

So when I see you, you know all the things I've done
Well I'm blinded
Like I'm staring down the sun
When I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun

Time, it passes and it tells us what we're left with
We become the things we do
Me, I'm a fool, spent from defiance, yeah you got me but
I didn't give up on you

Icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and it's not easy being me
But I can't promise I will mend or bend
When you believe that we are fixed now from our birth
And I've just fallen back to earth
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden we're stolen manners
In the days when we were one

[Chorus]
So when I see you, despite all that we've become
I'm still blinded
But I'm still staring down the sun
When I see you
I'm blinded

An old friend?
Lets refrain from throwing words around, shall we?
When has "Not supposed to" ever stopped you before???
You come and go as you please, don't you?
Who am I to tell you this isn't the right time?
Who am I to ask you to stay?

The days fade whether you're here or not.
And I'm used to the silence now, so please, make yourself comfortable.
Don't worry about the damage.
I owe you as much as you owe me.
So lets just stop counting wounds and have another drink.
Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?
And isn't that what we're supposed to be?
Friends?
Would you like some soda with that punch?

Don't thank me.
Stick to the rules.
It's your game.
They're your rules.

Angry?
Anger takes feeling.
And I feel nothing for you.
Not anymore.

I have no energy for this fight.
But I'll still play along.
Let's just keep pretending.
Does that suit you?
I think it fits perfectly.

So, lets...
Lets pretend we're friends.
Lets pretend you actually give a damn.
And lets pretend I'm still waiting...

...
If we become the things we do...
well, you're dead.
And I?
I am a ghost.
And no, they're not the same.

Icarus flew too close to the sun.
He didn't fly away into space without a goodbye.
You don't have to promise.
I'll never ask you to.
Just don't ask me if it's because I don't believe in promises...
or because I don't believe in you...

You always came and went as you wished, didn't you?
Don't let me be the one to change that.

Lucky?
Golden?
Still pretending, are we?
Anything for you.
Isn't that how this game worked?
...

You made your choice.
You were the one who left.
You don't get to turn this around.
And you do not get to blame me.

Tell me what you want.
Say what you're here to say.

Stay as long as you want.
But... this time, when you leave
Please don't come back...

I can't keep waiting for things you're never going to say or do.
And I can't keep staring at the sun...