Pictures in Books...

Originally posted on: 20th Sep 2008.

So do you hide your pictures of me?
Press them in quietly hidden books
In old forgotten cartons,
And all the places she never looks?

Do you smile every time they play our song?
Or do you just close your eyes?
Do you think of farmhouses and laughter?
And cold darkening November skies?

Do you ever think of me?
And all the times that we had?
Do memories of me make you laugh?
Or do they only make you sad?

Did you ever read my letter?
The one I wrote right after we fought
I wanted you to know I was sorry
but in my pride I was caught...

Do you wonder if I still love you?
But I don't think that can be
I jus wrote this song coz, darling,
I was going through some old books you see...

Everyday

Ashley was sitting at her computer, bored. She was chatting with some girl she knew in school and wondering how to get out of the conversation when she heard someone at the door. 7 knocks. That would have to be her room-mate. She opened the door to let in a visibly anxious Zia.

"Hey", said Ashley as Zia zipped in, picked up a pack of cigarettes and started to walk out. She stopped at the door and turned, a silent plea in her big eyes. Ashley blinked, "Umm, you okay?" Zia nodded and grinned "Yeah, yeah... Coming?"

"Where?" said Ashley, though she already knew the answer. Zia rolled her eyes. Ashley looked back at her laptop and the pending conversation. She sighed, "Okay, but only one! I'm hungry!" Picking up a jacket, she followed Zia up to the terrace.

Just a little more...

So red
So very impure
Right and wrong
I don't know anymore

And she knows
Just one more time
was what he always said
Just one more time
is all she repeats in her head

A little more, A little more
To keep me off the floor
I am fine, I'm okay
Just one more time today

Truth and deception
deception and lies
Are mere mocking words
My, how time flies

She remembers
Gaunt eyes
with the same old dying light
Sparks of hope
that she watched fade into the night

A little more, A little more
To keep me off the floor
I am fine, I'm okay
Just one last time today

Sorry

I lay here, too dead to cry
The pain still so fucking loud
Mesmerizing golden headlights
are the last things we ever saw
I raise my hand to shake you
but you refuse to breathe
It's getting darker and colder
and I just can't seem to see...
I hold your hand and feel it vanish
and I hear them whisper that you're gone
But I know if I refuse to open my eyes
I can somehow surely hang on
They tell me that it's time to let go
They tell me I just need to grieve
But how can I explain to them all
With you, I've ceased to breathe
I can still feel the fire
I can hear the voices ring
"Slow down, Please slow down"
rise slowly in the silent din
I stumble through the darkness
I can hear you call my name
Oh darling, I wish I had listened
I am the only one to blame...

You and I, A Different Story

Tinted,
Like a car's darkened windows
Ironic?
You could say so, I suppose.
Forgetful,
like you you used to be
By association
I guess I could be guilty.
Trust
You never really had to ask
Lies
I'm sorry, it was nothing but a mask.
Love
Do you even believe in it today?
Lust
Is that the only other way?
Confused
It's all I really know for sure
Peace
Is that really what I'm looking for?

Forget
Just like you used to do
Guilty?
Ah, I'm almost as bad as you
Laughter
Rings best in the coldest night
Pain?
Out of mind once out of sight
A Plan
There really is no such thing
Is it Cold?
Oh darling, won't you sing?
Today
Made of scraps, like of metal old
Memories
All that remain after the rest you've sold
Stars
To remind you of things you knew but long forgot
Innocent
Always, Until the day you finally get caught

Untitled

I follow me one by one
Hazy moon, what a tease!
Another shot, another drink
No thank you. Thank you, please.

Chasing silent swirling smoke
We live it, yeah live it our way
Free falling off the highest cliffs
Watch that spot, watch it fade away

And he said, yeah he said
"I loved you once, with all my heart"
and another shot, another shot
You just can't stop once you really start

Laugh away the misery
once it finds, yeah, finds it's way
To lose something oh-so clever
You have to darling, have to go astray

And then you hear the voices whisper
oh, you can hear them all say
"Poor darling. Poor darling"
"She's gone, gone the wrong way"

But the magic in you, it only laughs
And you hold your head up, your head up high
Coz Calvin Keith calls out to you
And you learn to walk on those clouds in the sky

Watch her as she walks out your door
Spinning, like swirling smoke spinning around
She laughs, laughs at all of your hopeless pleas
And you never see, see a single sound

Quieter than a shattering heart
Shattering glass is much quieter my dear
But once it's broken, dance in this darkness
Drink with me, there's nothing left to fear

And they'll call us all sorts of wicked names
but we'll raise our glasses, raise 'em high
We'll laugh at their ignorance
and we'll kiss that same old purple sky

Forget the ghosts, ghosts of memories
that haunt your fragmented confused mind
Watch the pieces fall away bit by broken bit
Let's just leave them, leave them all behind

And you may still cry once in a while
Here's two for the morning, two for the night
Everything will be better, much better darling
With the smoke, see them, see them all vanish out of sight.

Yeah, they'll shake their heads in practiced pity
And we'll clink, yeah clink our glasses high
I'll laugh for us. You, You bring your guitar
And we'll drown out every single strangling sigh!

They'll watch us, watch while we live
And wonder what we're really up to
Another shot, another drink
No thank you. Please, Thank you.


----------------
Now playing: Third Eye Blind - Forget Myself
via FoxyTunes

Aaargh!

Well, despite waking up at noon today, I did carry out my "grand plan". Left home around 1400 hours. It isn't all that cold here, but being able to walk about at 2 in the afternoon in a sweatshirt feels pretty good. It's almost like you're listening to an inner voice singing happily "The day can only get colder! It can only get colder" over and over inside your head!

Anyhow, I went to the local mall and found out the cost of an iPod charger. I wonder what really happened to mine? I must have spazzed out and left it somewhere. Darn it.

I crossed the road and bought myself a cigarette from across the mall. Walked in a random direction for half the cigarette and back while smoking the remaining. It was really weird. Much worse than even Nagarbhavi can be. I'm reminded of this one line I read in some book that I really can't remember right now.

But wow, the kick I got just from a few of those drags! I can't remember the last cigarette that hit me that way! I dunno if it was because of the two day break or just the thrill of being 10 minutes away from home and smoking on the main road!!! Ha! It was brilliant!

Okay, I have to go. My brother "needs" to sleep. I need work to start soon. Chilling is great and all, but I think I'd almost rather be at college with project submissions in less than a week.

This is a HIGHLY annoyed me signing off.