Goodbye

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It feels like the end of the world. There is screaming and madness, gray skies and people fleeing in thrilled states of panic. Different cars crowd the usually empty roads, people talking in quiet voices, looking at every known stranger with mistrust in their eyes. It's all chaos and confusion. And the fear sets in: What we believed to be the chimes of freedom, may just be the prison bells. The King is dead, long live the king.

It bothers me. If the world is ending, there is a lot I have to do, but I fear there is no time...

If the world is ending, all I want to say is goodbye. To all my friends I haven't seen in too long, to all the people I have hurt, to all the good times and all the bad, to the memories we've created and the memories we've lost, to conversations both hilarious and melancholic, to dreams and futures and islands and songs, to things that should have been said and things that should never have been thought of... I regret little. And I cherish all.

Maybe, the world will still be here tomorrow. Maybe, I'm just seeing storm clouds raging though the sky is really blue. Rose tinted glasses are just one shade. And every shade is a shade of gray. But, if it is the end of the world, I want to have been able to say goodbye.

Adieu.



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Now playing: Godsmack - Moon Baby
via FoxyTunes

Sailing Sinking Ships

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We live in constant fear, tired and paranoid eyes scanning the gray seas for any signs of their ships. They wish to hunt us down like the supposed criminals we are. Criminals? We are, but mere, dreamers. We do not believe in their petty Gods of selfish goals and pretty furniture. And for that, we are watched and hunted and live under the constant threat of exile.

Exile! But if there were only a place to run away to! Oh well, the world is round and we've been sailing for years. If we knew where this world ended, there would be no need to wander the seas for, what could only be, eternity.

There are many among us who believe that the right boat will come along to pick us up, even though it means doing little more than waiting forever. These men live in the inner cabins of the ship, which they've decorated to look like ordinary homes, barely aware of the journey itself. Many fall asleep holding on to memories that stopped being valuable a hundred thousand years ago.

There are a few who leave us, on small boats, convinced that there is no point in this journey. Often, they return once they realize that the night is a thousand times darker when you are alone. Sometimes, we never see them again.

There are those who believe that the shore will appear on the horizon if we just keep sailing. But we've been sailing for an eternity. The World is round. But I do not have the heart to remind them.

There are some who sit on the wooden deck under moonlit skies and talk in hushed voices. I join them, sometimes, if only to see the stars reflecting in their otherwise tired eyes; faces suddenly years younger than they appear to be under the glaring light of the sun. Their company makes this voyage bearable. Their thoughts make my soul want to cry out at the unfairness of our flight. Their dreams make me smile. Their hope spreads like flames from a candle kept too close to too many sheets of paper.

And then there are those who have thrown themselves into the raging seas, convinced in the madness of stormy nights and thunderous skies, that the only land there is to find lies many many miles under the water's surface. I have seen many rescued from such a plight. And I have seen many faces gasping for air before the waters claimed them forever. I have said many goodbyes.

I choke and drown on memories that have long left the insides of my mind. I think I made a mistake when I turned it inside-out. Now the whole world is in my head. And there's no place left for me in there, anymore.

I have no country to return to. And the land we set out sailing towards seems to be nowhere in sight. This ship and it's crew is the only world that exists tonight. But even the hushed voices of the people with stars in their eyes can't drown out the screams of the drowning. Perhaps the only land that exists is really a thousand miles under water.

They never told us that you couldn't sail the moonlight to the moon...

I think our ship is sinking.

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The Endless Story

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Break-up season is here again. Not that it makes any difference to me, personally. But everyone around me seems to be losing their mind. I'd laugh if it weren't so sad. And once again, I'm sixteen years old, convincing an old friend not to go ahead with her grand plan of revenge. It's a year later and I'm sneaking out of my home and into a friend's, eyes on the bottle she won't let go off. That was all so long ago... I guess some things never change.

It should be a comforting thought, in this crazy crazy world. But... it's not. If everything has to change, why can't the sad things change too? Why won't the things that are wrong, change? It's a messed up place, and it seems like it's only the beautiful things that we're all out to destroy.

In a world like this one, there's nothing to do, but survive. You do what you can. And you do what you have to. If everything was always pleasant, the rain wouldn't mean a thing. And every silver lining's got a touch of gray.

But, in the end, words are words. And they can be forgotten. Or remembered even when they were never exchanged. Like smoke, words are swirling, hazy and momentary. Memories are nothing but the stale scent of smoke clinging to your clothes.

Change, darling.
It's all you can do.

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Now playing: Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb
via FoxyTunes

Silence

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A hollow space can be filled with anything.
And light can emanate from the inside.
But we have no place for warmth.
And the moon must wait in line.

A perfect world?

We'll get to a better place, don't worry.
There has to be something more to this.

Isn't there?

Isn't there?

Isn't there?

Silence is an awkward answer.

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