Rambling

.

Maybe people don't always change. It's too dangerous a thought to have. I guess circumstances change and people just react differently. It's a consolation, though I do not know if I'm making myself feel better or appeasing fate by saying that. Either way...

The end term exams start in three days. I just spent the last 5 hours at Amma's. The rain came, it went away. Folks took their dogs out for walks and returned. People signed contracts and got hired. Sometimes, I like watching the world go by. Things keep changing, and if you wait long enough, good things happen too. The only problem is that you never know how long you should stay.

Past or Future?
I wouldn't know. Even if it were a year into the future, how could you be sure you still exist? How could you know for sure that the Earth still exists? You could time travel a year into the future and end up walking out into blank empty space.

*Pop*

That's what your death would be like. An empty sound in vast black nothingness. Cold, alone and meaningless.

On the other hand, the past is huge. There would always be somewhere to go. And you could change things. I've always been against messing with time because I know it could really fuck things up. But you know what? Sometimes things are really fucked up anyway, and it wouldn't hurt much to try and change things, because you never know...

You never know... and thus, maybe the future won't be so bad either. I wouldn't mind a sneak-peek at a chapter somewhere in the middle. I don't want to know the end. But anything else would do. Maybe I'll even figure out what not to do.

What *to* do, on the other hand, is a much more difficult question to answer.
That's the problem with thinking. If every choice has an equally vague outcome, just do nothing.
It's all I do these days, Nothing.
And I'm not sure if I've just stopped doing everything, or if it all now means the same to me.
Either way, gray saves the day.
Again.

.

Back to School

I haven't really been writing anything here because I don't really want to do a "Back to Law School" post. But, I suppose I can't put it off forever. So, I'm back. In Law School.

Almost-holy places have been visited. Pecos, Roof, Amma's, Rohini and then some. All the necessary rituals have been completed. SF tripping, reminiscing, phone calls, music... It really doesn't feel like its been only four days. But this time, it does feel like we were away for a while. Maybe because I had an eventful holiday this time. Too eventful if you ask me. Almost feels like an entire trimester's worth of events!!! Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but just a slight one!

These holidays were good because I actually revisited the past. And by the past, I don't just mean life before college. I mean school. (For the slightly confused, there was that annoying year spent at St. T.) I knew that I wasn't the same, but it felt great finding out that I hadn't completely changed either. I mean, yeah, I am definitely very very diferent, but the "basic structure" seems to be the same. ;) I don't really know why that makes me feel better, but it does.

Yeagh, this is one of the most pointless posts I have written on this blog. *laughs* I know many who will disagree and point out at least a million other posts that seem to make NO sense whatsoever, but I'm talking about "pointless" and not "senseless". Because senseless things sometimes do have a point. But then again, so does this. Okay, any more thinking along these lines and this post will cross both lines.

Oh yes, how could I forget? About an hour ago, I found out that I may just have passed Fly. That's a relief. But I really must find out for sure. Oh well, that's what "tomorrows" are for. *nods solemnly*

Other than that, life goes on, everything changes but always in the same way, aaand my blog stays highly emo. *sigh* I really must do something about that... "Not that there's anything wrong with it!"
heh.
Yes, but seriously.

Reasonably Content

Waking up early
+
New clothes
+
Getting to class in time
+
Being hauled up in class and answering the question put to you
-
Being asked to prepare a case analysis for no reason at all
+
Amma's
+
Concern
-
Being yelled at by a professor and threatened with the "strictest disciplinary action"
+
One normal conversation with a professor who you were certain was going to kill you
+
Smoking with a few friends
+
Getting to the shop just as it is closing
+
Getting out of a sweater
+
Chips and orange juice
+
The internet

=
A reasonably content I...