Sorry

Dear Sister,

How could you let them walk all over you?
Why didn't you walk away?
How could you stand and do nothing but watch?
Didn't you have a thing to say?

Why do you persist dear girl?
Why can't you let them be?
The heart's a fickle friend, babe
And today, his is with me.

-
love,
Mary J.

----------------
Now playing: Staind - Outside (Full band)
via FoxyTunes

Changing Constants; The Liars!

.
The constant flickering glow, she said. I didn't hear her, but she came to my window at midnight, whispering the same echoing words. They're still reverberating inside my head. A constant flickering echo.

Why?
Because it fits in times of absolute nothingness.

Absolute is an extreme term.
So is life.

Stories can only have happy endings if you know when to stop telling them. I hate second chances. Too many expectations.
And we live to disappoint.

I want you to know, but only after there's nothing you can do about it. Information is power and I would never let anyone have that kind of control over me.
Unless I was promised certain destruction?
(I still won't believe you)

Electric chair, two years. Rings a bell.
Bad joke or good joke in bad taste?

It's hard to tell sometimes...
especially if it's your own darkness you're humoring.
That's dark, but self-demeaning isn't defaming. You need a third party. Outside your head.
Tsk.
Retarded clauses.

Things and reasons and seasons change.
Why can't I?
There's no point in knocking on locked doors.
Especially when you're the one who lost the keys.

I don't know which way to pick
and the sun will always be in my eyes
I want to fly.
But I don't want you to wait to catch me, because I think I may remember how to.
And then what would you do?

Echoes fade and memories die
Autumn frosts have slain July...

Are you afraid?
No.
You should be...

.

$ - II

As long as we don't forget
the reason we set out to sail
The shore will come into sight
An almost holy sort of grail

But who really remembers who he was
in that lifetime lifetimes ago
And the pretty picture on the postcard
has long gone up in smoke

Won't you speak up, dear darling
I want to drink up your every thought
and remember each word you say
will it replace each one I forgot?

Ah, but Apologies and Bitterness
have no place here at sea
Every beautiful thing is flitting by
I know it can't be just me

So hold my hand, my friend
As we go down with this sinking ship
The world is coming to an end
And we're at the end of our last maiden trip.

.

Apologize?

.

Where do I even begin?

These thoughts in my head are not supposed to be here.

But I can't get rid of them.

And I can't find what I'm looking for.

It's all white noise.

(And it hurts when it echoes)

I'm really sorry,... but I need to finish.

.

The Ring

Sometimes I can't take the phone ringing
Over and over, it glows
I don't want to hear your voice
I don't want to talk
Leave me alone!
So, I pretend to be asleep
Pretend to be away
Because apologizing is so much easier
than forcing inside the pain
and then maybe I can believe
You won't call again...